When the lovemaking noises emitting from a neighbor’s bedroom sound like a goat exorcism taking place inside a bedspring factory, it’s time to take action. Option A.) Light some candles, hold a glass to the wall and make a night of it. Option B.) Crawl into the fetal position with a pillow and cry because you are alone. (Just let your mother set you up already, it shouldn’t be that big a deal!) Option C.) Write a hilarious note for all the apartment building and later the internet to enjoy.